What do you want?
February 29, 2012 in Uncategorized
Is it because you wanted me to persevere?
Is it because you wanted to build character?
Is it because you wanted to show hope?
Is this all to reveal who you are?
What do you want from me?
Is this not for me at all?
You slammed the door shut and opened a new one to you.
You have broken me.
I am listening, so tell me what you want.
I am humbled.
I am weak, I know.
You are strong.
I am here for you.
I get it now.
Tell me what you want from me.
I am listening.
I am broken, so fix me to be what you want me to be.
Make something beautiful out of something so broken.
Now is your time.
Bring me back to life and show me who you are.
This is not a demand, but a humble plea.
I am broken.
Gabe
Sending prayers and love your way Gabe.
I felt like this post could have been written by me…so often, Gabe, I have felt the same way. I am sorry. I actually told God I feel broken just this week and I want Him to marvelously put the pieces of my life back together into something that glorifies Him–my problem is that I am not very patient and get frustrated when I don’t see progress in my situation. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers!!
Hey Bonnie, I read “Rest” on here that night and I remembered what to do.
It’s rather selfish to think god made your wife die so YOU could learn a lesson, don’t you think…? The world does not revolve around you and god is not talking through you… Sorry, harsh again… Really sorry for your loss, but it’s not all a LESSON. Things happen and not always for a reason.
Everything under the heavens happens for a reason. God has purpose IN everything. If only some would stop to see that Gods hand is in everything. I did not know Gabe or Lindsey, I have several friends that did. Gabe’s blog teaches me a lesson everytime I read it. It’s inspirational. This is how we all should live our live…. With such blind faith. he inspires me and my walk with the Lord. Your blog is amazing and you have touched so many lives. No need to be harsh. This blog is for Gabe and his walk with the Lord, and if it touches just one life….praise God! Gabe, I pray for your family and that you continue to feel God’s love throughout your days.
Hi Jennifer, thanks for reading and I hope you continue to grow in your walk with the Lord. Thank you for all the prayers and your kind words!
In love.
Gabe
Hi tess, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your honesty and humbly I can not agree with you. One of my closest friends in the world has denied his faith and it hurts to hear, and one thing that he has told me is “I have seen too much to believe.” For me, it is just the opposite… I have seen to much not to believe. God chooses to talk to us in different ways. He will talk to you if you are willing to listen. Sin was brought into this world by us, He chose to save us from eternal death in sin. He does teach us lessons, but He also gives us free will. He loves all of us and for something that created ALL of this, I do believe He is powerful enough to care for everyone, not just me… He is everywhere all the time… don’t try to figure it out, I can assure you that you will never figure it out by any tangible thing other than the word, which leads to faith and belief only.
I don’t think I know you personally, but I pray that your heart will soften and the Lord will reveal Himself to you… but beyond that, that you will have the boldness to listen. Your words are not harsh, they are true for you and your belief. When you turn that belief into the truth that is Christ, you will be free. Don’t trust in yourself, trust in Him.
In love.
Gabe
You should be ashamed of yourself for saying the awful things that you have said here. This man has never made it about him. He has shared his pain and has been beyond humble. I am embarrassed for you posting such a horrible comment. You have a black soul, in my opinion, to try and make this man feel bad about expressing his feelings. SHAME. ON. YOU.
Gabe, your faith truly inspires me. I came across your blog by chance as a Facebook friend posted it. It made me cry and smile at the same time. I lost a son to stillbirth 3 years ago and although my grief has evolved a lot over that time, initially I was very, very angry with G-d although I knew and believed that this was part of his plan, and that my son’s soul had a purpose to fulfill which it fulfilled in the 9 months in my womb. Anger is a natural part of grief and yet I don’t see any anger in you at all — only faith and love. Tess’s words (in my opinion and hers) were very harsh and critical, and yet — once again — you replied with love and light, no trace of anger. Your children are very lucky to have you guiding their grief journey because it is a very lonely, rocky road but with a dad that has so much faith and love of G-d it is much easier. I’m sure they miss their mom very much, as you miss your wife. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION, Gabe, and I’m so glad I found your site. In fact the day I found it I was feeling down and missing my son, thinking of it being his 3rd birthday soon. Then I read your words; the words of a man who — given his situation — would have every right to rail against a G-d who would snatch away his wife and the mother of his children. But I know you don’t see it that way; you don’t see it as snatched away, but as taken for a higher purpose that will one day be revealed to you and your children. I see my son as being taken for that purpose too. Thank you for your inspiration. xx
Hi Jessica, I am so sorry to hear about your stillbirth. Lindsay and I use to talk about how difficult that must be. I can not imagine, again I am sorry.
To be totally transparent, anger is hard for me because I would consider myself quick tempered. Those close to me see this, it is something I struggle with. It is always the little things though, the things that don’t matter, so I get disappointed with myself when this happens. It reminds me I am human though, which is a very important part of this life. It makes me realize how small I am and how great He is.
In regards to Lindsay’s death, I have not had anger with Him or anyone or anything in particular. There was a week where I had general anger (like a chip on my shoulder). I don’t attribute this to anything but the peace and grace God has shown me. God did nothing but receive my wife in Heaven and only because He sent his son here to die for her. How can I be angry with a God that gave His only son? The least I can do is praise Him for the time He gave me with Lindsay, for receiving her and recognizing HOW she got there.
Thank you for your kind words and I pray that you find comfort and peace with your son’s purpose.
In love.
Gabe
Gabe,
You are amazing and your faith (emunah as we say in Hebrew) and belief in a G-d who is only good is amazing. I wish you continued peace and blessings.
Jessica